Honesty Ready

Something happened to me. Something… Well, I really want to say “bad”. But then again, that word–as the case with many adjectives–is so subjective. And I really wish I can write down the everything in detail to lift this burden I have. But I can’t. So, I will just use an illustrated situation that goes something like …

I have somebody close. We are close when we are far apart…physically. And I love her… sincerely. As the word “love” may be interpreted in many ways, this time I will use a description of “not wanting her to get hurt”. One way not getting her to get hurt would be by listening to all her wary, though God knows I don’t always agree with her.

But,… ( I hate that word), she did not know how much she hurt others, how much she hurt me. Although she knows exactly how she hurt herself. She believes in the eternal rewards given by God in the after life. Seriously, I am not one to against God. I would be all damned if I do.

But ( double my hatred to that word), I got tired of having a non-solved problem. And the only way to end all these madness was by telling her the truth. It was the truth she has known already. The truth everybody involved has known already. The truth I–the one who listened to all her wary–has kept hidden. So, what’s the problem, then? The truth is the truth. The truth is not the problem.

The problem was formulating it in words.

The problem was saying the formulation.

The problem was what came after the formulation.

The problem was her readiness to hear that I–who has been keeping my silence–spoke.

She was not honesty ready.

I was not honesty ready.

Only regrets are.