The First man on Jupiter
Exaggerating is an art!

Control (part 2–end)

February 12th 2011 in Alter ego

This is the continuation of ALter-Ego–Control part 1

 

After threatening me that someone dies, my alter-ego disappeared. I was a bit confused. His both appearance and disappearance caused me this eery feelings.

 

I sat down in my room after a great shiver. I tried to think. It’s actually  been a while since my alter-ego came to me. I have been seeing life as great moments. However, i still do think of his last words to me. I don’t remember them words by words, but the message lingers until now:

I’m weak.

I’m incompetent.

I create many problems in my life which he fixes.

I messed up he cleans up for me.

He has been saving my ass and I should be grateful for having him around.

 

They are things like that. And when you are told about who you are often, then that’s who you are. And that’s what I have been since I knew him.

When he first came, he got his rage unleashed to me. What I didn’t know that time was…the rage went on. I was just scared, I guess. I mean, who would not get scared with a beast taking the ugliest form anyone can imagine that can do many things like lengthen his neck just to breathe behind you?

I have been nothing but a frustrated soul….an afraid soul… if i ever was one.

All my life I onlly remember my fear of having him. When I closely thought about it, that’s how it has always been. The memory I had has always been with him in my room. I asked myself: has there been any moments that I was with someone else in my life? I mean like, interacting?

I thought hard. I thought really hard. What happened with my life? Where has everyone gone? Where has my mom been? I must have a mom, right? And dad? And friends? We—me and my alter-ego DID talk about Michelle. She has this..wait, how come I didn’t even remember how she looked like?

What is this?

What is ALL these?

 




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Akhirnya gw pulang juga dari Solok-Padang. How do I feel? Lemme spell it: M-A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G-S. Dan penyebabnya juga M-A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G-S.

Pertama2 gw harus mengalami sebuah perjuangan hebat memerang pendapat diri sendiri melawan senior2 kantor. Ampuuun deh. Gw propose satu kerjaan dan komplikasi pun terjadi. Gw nyoba kekeh sekekeh2nya itu masjid yang survive Tsunami di Aceh. Sampe akhirnya gw […]

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What do you save me from?
What do you save me from?
Yourself?
You made me feel like I don’t dare
When it’s you..
It’s you..
 
What do you save me from?
What do you think you save me from?
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You made me feel like I don’t dare
When it’s you..
It’s you..
 
Tell them how the hands tick slower.
Tell ’em how you like ’em faster.
But […]

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