Lost and… Found (Part 1)

I’m a ghost. It doesn’t take the genius in me or the load of surprise to know that I’m already dead. To be honest with you, I had been looking forward to it. I know someone—if you can use “one” for a ghost—who was looking forward to it as well. It’s my girlfriend.

She died at the back of the restaurant where she worked. Some bastards threw her out of the backdoor then raped her and made me watch in very tight ropes. After they’ve done, they let her my ropes go with a lot of beating and swearing saying that I was not a real man for not being able to protect his girlfriend. My pride died. I came after. I killed myself in front of the bloody scene cutting my own wrist with some broken glass I found near me.

I‘d try to say it in a more sad way but then again I just don’t know how to do that these days. I kinda …”lost” my feeling. And this journey, wherever it leads me, feels like something that I just gotta do. There’s no sentimental value in it. It’s not a falling reddish leave in a summer. It’s not fingers let go in a slow mo. It’s not lover’s tears. It’s just something I have to do. I guess that’s what it’s like when you are dead. You lost the feeling although the purpose is still there.

So much as to say that death is the end. My unfortunate fate went beyond that. I was few minutes late to catch them—my girlfriends and the angle that took her. I lost them. At that point, I was actually hoping that those scumbags did kill me so that there would be an angle for me as well. No no no. I committed suicide. I didn’t deserve any winged-tour guide next to me. I was alone. And alone I was.

I was not sure if it’s a good thing or not. But time died with you when you’re dead.  That’s another way of my saying…pick a broad day light to die so that your afterlife plans will be a lot easier to accomplish. But then again it depends on your plan. My plan was to find my girlfriend.

Right now I believed I had been wandering around this damp empty city I used to walk on in a real sense yet it is quiet and cold..still. I don’t know where else to go and I was so desperate. I wish I could kill myself once again so that this …whatever this is ends. But then I thought to myself if I did that, would I go around in the second layer of death wandering this world again? And obviously I won’t be able to find someone…anyone to kill me so that there would be an sngel guiding me to the end…a real one.

I decided to stop and sit down in the middle of the road since I don’t know what else to do. And that very moment my butt touched the ground—that very moment—something happened.

–to be continued–